kolivans:

nobody is talking about how kolivan is blaming himself for his fellow blades’ death. he was being tortured within an inch of his life for who knows how long and the only thing he feels is guilt. he’s used to mask his own grief when a fellow blade died, but macidus broke him.

when he apologized to krolia and keith, that’s him being honest about how he actually feels. no mask, no pretense. only guilt and grief.